At last, Mrs. Miller felt free to act. Marty calls Mrs. Miller once a week to check up on her, just like does now that the big family questions are mostly worked out. I think you know that you will always be our daughter, but I thought each of you should know your biological and spiritual backgrounds. A month after she got the letter, Sue went to see her biological mother and father. She told the counselor her story and said she wanted to get blood tests done. This American Life, I'm IRA Glass. Is my brother going to care to even see me anymore? And he was very angry at first with me. He gives her a ride and immediately become friends. And basically-- and this is going to sound like kind of a small thing, but it was a big thing to me-- she circled the names of people that were participating in the program. One thing Mrs. Miller doesn't regret is raising Marti. And that no one around. Thanks as always to a program's cofounder, Mr to, you know, to run a big radio station was not always the dream job that he wanted. "Dear Sue, I'm writing you this short note to officially give you my welcome to this Miller family and relationship.". What Kay McDonald didn't know was that there was a whole slew of people in her church community who had heard about the rumored baby switch from the beginning. And is the reason because Marti brought something important to your family? After they were born, she had written as a Christmas letter and and said she'd always like to keep in touch with Susan because the girls were so much like sisters. The sickness, she said, lasted for six or seven months. And the daughter, bear with me, ended up marrying Sue's brother Bob. They just didn't talk about these kinds of things. And as Ruth and Faith saw it, it wasn't their place to mess in their parents' affairs, which is why when her husband, Rudy, blurted it out a few years later, Ruth was so shocked and Marty refused to believe it at that point. Mrs. Miller says she worries for Marti and Sue, about whether they'll ever truly get along. They decided that Ruth ought to have a look to so the two girls cooked up a reconnaissance mission on one Sunday, they got their boyfriends to drive them 17 miles away to the McDonald's church in Prairie Dasheen. And so I don't think that was too well received when I mentioned that. Because I had said that I had shed a lot of tears. That was her idea. I mean, she that was right. Is this your dad? So we never said anything about it. When she got on the phone, I was just totally blown away, by the way, she pronounced her words were identical with the way my mother talked. Sue now had four new sisters and two new brothers. In the episode, the students at Carlton School for the Deaf protest to keep their school open. And yeah, I think it might be. The Millers were at the McDonald's anniversary party, their mutual acquaintances, they got a short drive from each other's houses and Waseca and Kurdish in Wisconsin. And Sue seems eager to know them. The Millers wanted to incorporate her family into our family as quickly as they could and. She also had an older brother, Bob, named after their dad. Episode 360, July 25, 2008. And so I kind of made a promise to myself that I would just never go down that road again, that I was just not going to go there. That's good. S1 E3 - Portrait of My Father Bay begins to ask questions about her biological father. First Aired: 3/7/2017. And of course, I thought that was foolish. And he did. Mrs. Miller's husband, the Reverend Norbert Miller, was an evangelical preacher, devoted to the church. And my mother, nothing was going to be different between us. Get personalized recommendations, and learn where to watch across hundreds of streaming providers. There were a few years there. Original release. Katie Leclerc and Adam Hagenbuch in "Switched at Birth.". They knew Reverend Miller. I'm IRA Glass. With Katie Leclerc, Vanessa Marano, Constance Marie, D.W. Moffett. When Sue arrived, she slipped in quietly. Just absolutely bizarre things like that. I don't know why they didn't say. You know, when she finally heard from Mrs. Miller, the mother she'd grown up with, not only did she get the letter, but Mrs. Miller had just been to the fiftieth anniversary party of the McDonald's, Marty's biological parents. She looks just like Mary Lydia. The other mother, Kay MacDonald, had no idea the two fathers in this story were not interviewed. And my mother has told me since then, you know, I really didn't expect that much from you, because I knew that you weren't our child. I felt they were trying to take her away from us. She had given birth two years prior, to a girl. And I had probably all of the emotions that you have with a death in a family. Kay McDonald is still tight with Sue, the daughter she raised, but she's also much closer with Marti. He's just outright he's just saying, can you forgive me just just like that on the telephone. Mary says she felt like everything she was interested in was lost on her parents. Mr. McDonald ran the TV repair shop in town. And then she's going to say, well, I don't need that daughter anymore. They lived a short drive from each other's houses in Wauzeka and Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin. They say they're not angry with her. All the Millers were invited and all the McDonalds were too. And then to think that I didn't get to raise the one that I had wanted so much. And I felt excluded. I'm Ira Glass. This is Sue reading a letter she got some time ago from her new found Miller sister Faith, though there are many, many good things about our family and parents and being raised by that family. It's a little late. I don't care whether my husband objected or not. And then after I knew that I had been switched and that I had different genes, and my parents kept talking about these people that were so odd, the Millers, because Reverend Miller, he is an evangelical preacher. From WBEZ Chicago, it's "This American Life." That's Martha reading. Here's Bob McDonald, who, remember, was having these great phone calls with his newfound sister? And she kept it quiet all those years. And both Marti and Sue worried that the families they'd always thought were theirs would still want to keep them. I was sure then that there had been a mix-up. She didn't question that. And the other thing was that he really thought, what difference does it make? They had dogs and raised angora rabbits. I guess you can understand. But then Mrs. Miller told me more of her side of the story. And I knew that she had to be my sister. And she said, Oh, no, no. Then when Ruth was about 16, her older sister Faith came home from a trip on a Mississippi River boat and told Ruth she'd seen Sue McDonald on the boat, and that she looked an awful lot like them. It was the first I had ever heard anything about it. No, I guess I haven't, because I knew. She remembers Marti always lightening the mood in their house. She's ours now. Unbelievable Intentional Swap. Sue dismissed it as part of the whole sister thing, which she also thought was kind of weird. I have much anguish and many tears, but I feel I must get this out in the open so you to know how wonderful that you both are, Christians and great workers in the church. Hardy says her mom, Mrs. Miller, sees the world in black and white, she focused on the facts of the situation, maybe hoping she could fix things by simply setting the record straight. Incredibly, when Marty was 21 years old, someone actually told her that she might not be a Miller, one of her older sisters, Ruth, came to visit with her husband, Rudy. He told her that he thought it was God's will that this had happened. Perfectly clear that, you know, I was a mcdonnel for the longest time, whenever she would write to me, she would include MacDonald in my name. Transcript; Share; This American Life. Shut up. She remembers Marty always lightening the mood in their house as a kid. Between ourselves, Ruth and me, we or at least I always figured you lucked out, probably Martha, with her happy go lucky nature, could take the climate of the Miller home better. On a fictional TV series, ABC Family's Switched At Birth, deaf students fear their deaf school will be shut down. Yeah, I wanted him to agree with me. (6 1/2 minutes), If you enjoyed this episode, you may like these. She heard it first from her own mom, who heard it at church. Nobody would dance with me at the dances. You were not adopted. Does the thought ever cross your mind? Your service title . There was nothing I didn't have anything to do with it. I didn't get picked. And my own bed to everything I could about. Yeah. But even if it did happen, there is no way to prove it. Again, Martha Miller, who now goes by Marti, who once was the baby who sneezed five times in a row. And as you heard in the letter, one thing that makes this whole thing even stranger is that the two couples knew each other. In fact, we were even weren't even sure we'd have another child, so of course, we were elated when I did get pregnant and and then to think that I didn't get to raise the one that I had wanted to so much and. I wanted a baby, you know, and you're my baby. The older girls had sort of always known about the possibility that Marty wasn't their biological sister. She circled his name and she wrote, This is your uncle. That's how long it took her to sort out her feelings. Reporter Jake Halpern tells the story of Marti Miller and Sue McDonald, the daughters who were switched at birth , and the many complications that came with learning the truth. My name is Bob McDonald and I am 61 years old. But they didn't notice any-- I don't know why they didn't notice it that Martha looked like them and was like them. When he saw you, Sue, he said, I don't need a DNA test. Lydia would make a good twin to her. Do you have a second? Between ourselves, Ruth and me, we, or at least I, always figured you lucked out. And he did, and he did. This episode, Switched at birth, is the episode they name. I remember talking to mother about, you know, this is your blood daughter. The way she pronounced her words were identical with the way my mother talked. Yeah, definitely at that point, my dad had this horrendous guilt because he felt like it was all his fault that he should have believed my mother for, you know, all those years. When Kay's church was celebrating its 150th anniversary, for instance, Kay was chairperson for the event. Because Mrs. Miller didn't want cross her husband, all she could do was hope that maybe if she dropped enough hints, calling the girls sisters and such, Kay would eventually realize on her own what had happened. They just didn't talk about these kinds of things. Very soon after mine, when we took our baby home, she sneezed five times in a row. She said she wanted to call Marti first, but never managed to reach her. I couldn't believe that Because I don't have that feeling about-- I don't think God punishes us in any way. I changed your diaper. And in the room you were in, you mean that's who it was the first time I'd seen them talk to each other. This is my mom and dad. After dinner, she sat down and told them about Mrs. Miller's letter, told them point blank she wasn't their child. Like Sue, though, Marty stuck out in her family for one thing, she was the only one who joked around, she says even now, the Millers can't tell when she's being ironic. I mean, are there times when you when you feel a little bit guilty about kind of having lucked out with the home that was, you know, maybe a little bit easier to grow up in? He was popular and I wasn't. Tells the story of two teen girls who discover that they were accidentally switched at birth. Here's Bob McDonald who remember, was having these great phone calls with his newfound sister. 754. Weeks went by and Sue began to fret. You're still our kid and I'm glad we had you. When I hear this episode now, what hits me honestly is how cunningly structured thing is where where you hear about the mom from all these other people before you ever hear from her and then how your picture of her changes once you actually hear her. Sue knew her mother had never been a big fan of the Millers ever since they met. The plot device of babies who are switched at birth, or in their cradles, has been a common one in American fiction since the 18th century. The infants were accidentally switched, and went home with the wrong families. Why did you listen to her husband back in 1951? Mr. McDonald had a bad heart and she didn't know what the stress would do to him. 42 years after the switch, Reverend Miller finally laid eyes on Sue at the McDonalds' wedding anniversary party. In fact, she seemed to have a tin ear for the whole thing. And so in this half of the story we hear from the mothers again. Bob is four and a half years older than Sue, a sweet, jovial guy who never got along with his broody little sister. Dear Sue, I'm writing you this short note to officially give you my welcome to this Miller family and relationship. Switched at Birth ended its five-season run on Tuesday with an eventful 90-minute farewell. Today on our show, we hear what happens when somebody takes your family and throws it up in the air like a deck of cards from WBCSD Chicago. Marti worked all of her adult life, and still does, as a nurse. They understand why she didn't speak out sooner. Reporter Jake Halpern tells the story of Marti Miller and Sue McDonald, the daughters who were switched at birth, and the many complications that came with learning the truth. I honestly don't know how much they communicate, how much they're in touch. And she was talking about the way her mother would talk to her. That's sort of spooked Marty, so she left it alone. Marti says she felt like everything she was interested in was lost on her parents. She and Faith and Mary Lydia, the older girls, had sort of always known about the possibility that Marti wasn't their biological sister. And he let Marty know that he still loved her. I tried out for cheerleading. She she. Oh, yeah. This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange. Marty wrote a letter to Kay and Bob McDonald, her biological parents. calderdale council business grants. She didn't grow up with Sue, after all, and she's not actually related to her or to her kids. Kay McDonald is still tight with Sue, the daughter she raised, but she's also much closer with Marty. "Though there are many, many good things about our family and parents and being raised by that family, there were also some definite deficits. But I went along with it, because I don't like to make waves, I guess, you might say. One of the mothers realized the mistake but chose to keep quiet. We love you, Martha Jane-- I'm sorry. Blood tests were done with the Millers and they proved Mrs. Miller was right about the switch. And then there was the blondness and the perkiness and the socializing. He danced with Marti. It wasn't their place to bring up such a thing, especially with no way to know if it was true for sure, What that meant was that after Kay McDonald finally found out the truth in 1994, people started coming up to her, in church mostly, casually mentioning that they'd known about it all along.