They should be earned. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and because you and I have at-least one thing in common which is that all of us deal with language all the time, I thought it might be nice today for me to come to you with some of my language complaints, certainly not to blame them on you, although off-course youre implicated. 0000005590 00000 n 0000053233 00000 n ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. 0000002803 00000 n Everybody complains about politicians. It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. And you don't want to spend your real life chasing after digital validation.". War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. No contest. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. Two is all you need, folks. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All photographs on this website (unless otherwise indicated) were created by and are the property of Daniel R. Joder and may not be used for any purpose without permission. George Carlin: How you doing? Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. This is said with a straight face although it's obvious of course that the proposition is stated precisely backwards (LAUGHS). POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. Now, in the interest of logicsomething religion has a really hard time withI'm going to skip around the list a little bit: THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. endobj They dont want that! Look them in the eye, shake their hand, and share your thoughts and feelings in person. Yeah the public sucks. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. You have no choice! _S@bZ&j{|pQGB0qw_rm+eUr!:J9d j9mLJRL Q3PUn\#MuRJ\ *B6B6x Friends? Hes right. That's why we need people who can make the TOUGH DECISIONS. And they're all looking for that instant gratification of likes and followers, like it's some kind of digital high-five. Fuck em! Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poleshundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice agesAnd we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? Read it first. Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. It's like the Wild West of the internet, but with more trolls. Apparently no one has ever claimed that only a small portion of something (LAUGHS) was blown out of proportion. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. You know what they want? 0000000016 00000 n (LAUGHS). Well, we know what they want. Required fields are marked *. But it's all a facade. [187 0 R 188 0 R 189 0 R 190 0 R 191 0 R 192 0 R 193 0 R] I don't words that conceal reality. 188 0 obj 0000008961 00000 n OR: I WAS QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT. There's a whole world out there waiting for you, and it's much more interesting than anything you'll find on social media.". GEORGE CARLIN: I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. It will be a lot of fun. But, the Incomplete List highlights his exceptional understanding of, love for, and talent with language, sound, and rythmn. Yeah, right. Its called the American Dream,because you have to be asleep to believe it. https://ad.style/. Sure, there's some good stuff on there, but it's mostly just people filming themselves doing stupid things and hoping to go viral. Sure, here's a sample transcript of George Carlin talking about social media in one of his stand-up routines: "Let's talk about social media for a minute. I know, they say, they say: well if you dont vote you have no right to complain. You know what they're interested in? Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. <>stream It was during the waning of the Nixon years, where confidence in government was beginning its slide down to the Stygian depths where it rests today; the Vietnam War, and racial unrest, continued to rage on. Not in the abstract they don't. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. That's a big activity here in Washington! And nobody seems to notice. This is what we have to offer. "George Carlin" Scripts.com. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. ,G0p%:::400-: @%L`n((lax@\0eF,q] \ .P+4 d3;P hnN*S fxsH>XDAA#beae:i5rY3h11(31013a_p_&]37CD\&k2N@TD}. People go on there, they play with the animals, they pet them, they feed them, but they don't get any real interaction. It's a big club, and you ain't in it. I'm getting tired of that shit. (CLAPS, LAUGHS). See they don't DECIDE; they DETERMINE. All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. It's like a highlight reel of their fake lives. The transcripts I could find always sucked. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you. So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. Suddenly we're down to four. You can't have an opinion anymore without being labeled as something. Most of the images you will find here are available for license or purchase. In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN. "Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. And that certain sign that things are closing in: POLITICIAN:WHATEVER HAPPENED TO INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY (LAUGHS). Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . You enjoy yourselves. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." Been here four and a half billion years. m o n t c l a i r . Yes, all the words are quite impolite. And the worst part is that social media has become a platform for outrage and self-righteousness. Several reasons. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. In particular it's fun to listen to Washington talk. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . From his 1992 (first ever LIVE) HBO TV special "Jammin' in New York", performed in from of 6,500 people at Madison Square Gardens. Whatever happened WellWell he's about to find out! And not that you can help it, I mean the problem is really with the people you cover. New episode of the podcast is terrific. <>/Metadata 181 0 R/Outlines 136 0 R/Pages 174 0 R/StructTreeRoot 145 0 R/Type/Catalog/ViewerPreferences<>>> It would seem to fly in the face of that other rhetorical standby that: POLITICIAN:THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE LOT SMARTER THAN THEY ARE GIVEN CREDIT FOR. So, that I can continue my work in Government. You know, those posts that pretend to be modest, but really they're just a way of showing off. And theyre elected by American citizens. Nobody seems to care. Let's get started! But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. American stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. As I say, they're my work, they're my . Nothing wrong with the planet. I dont vote. They want your retirement money. [masturbation gestures] It doesnt mean a fucking thing. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. stream I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. The planet has been here four and a half billion years. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. 2023. I'M SERVING THE NATION. Marc Allan: Good, thanks for calling. And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. So, it may seem like stand-up comedy, but I suspect Carlin is deadly serious. (LAUGHS). (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! For added emotional impact sons and daughters can always be substituted for men and women and so I think we can sum this up. Everybodys at the mall, scratchin his ass, pickin his nose, takin his credit card out of his fanny pack and buyin a pair of sneakers with lights in them. 186 0 obj POLITICIAN:HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY INITIATIVE. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. THINGS ARE MOVING FASTER NOW, MISTAKES WERE MADE. ', And let's not forget the humblebrags. You enjoy yourselves; itll be a lot of fun. From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. Fuck em. His political commentary was scathing and on par with any of the greats, Pryor, Chappelle, Bruce. The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im gunna have a little something to show for it, folks.. e d u / e t d / 4 7 1)/Rect[72.0 131.7406 279.0264 143.4594]/StructParent 6/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> (LAUGHS) PROCEEDING. endobj All rights reserved. 193 0 obj So self-important. But the POLITICIANS, god bless them or something like that, they're are at their most entertaining when they're are in trouble. It's clearly a padded list. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. They're your followers. Fuck hope. However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. You got people walking around bumping into each other, looking down at their phones, tweeting, Instagramming, Facebooking, like they're all little paparazzi. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! I dont vote. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. 'Oh, I'm so exhausted from traveling all over Europe for the third time this year. <>/MediaBox[0 0 612 792]/Parent 175 0 R/Resources<>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageC]/XObject<>>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Tabs/S/Type/Page>> THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( \n h t t p s : / / d i g i t a l c o m m o n s . Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. 0 We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. 0000003516 00000 n They want obedient workers. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin talking about social media: "Social media, huh? Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. Something is definitely wrong. They're your 'likes'. If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. Pfft! Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. This is the best we can do folks. Its a big club, and you aint in it! 194 0 obj (LAUGHS). Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Youre just gunna wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans [leaders]. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. 0000015151 00000 n Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. 160 Copy quote. Its almost a poetic rap. George Carlin: Dumb Americans. You know, say, boy, he really . Everybody's going to save something now. So put down your phone, step away from the computer, and go out into the world. Look, I'm not against technology or communication.